enemaroberts:

me: you’re so big

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him: that’s just the tip babe

me:

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dehydrated hoe: you look like a dweeb caring around that water bottle all day lol
me: yeah bitch well you look like a crunch bar and I bet ya pee is yellow

callieohpeee:

when i was around 5 i asked my mom why “some people were different colors” and she said “because god wanted lots of flavors” and let me tell you that was the wrong thing to say because for the next 3 years i thought god ate people when they died

Yo for real, FUCK SCHOOL ! I mean imma still go, imma still go tho.

fulllblownrose:

It’s too hot *opens window* in comes 20 flies, 8 spiders, 17 daddy long legs, 50 moths, 3 dragons and 12 Jehovah’s witnesses.

yelled:

when you wake up early in the morning and sit on the edge of your bed like

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aviculor:

clannyphantom:

why do teenage boys go through that phase where they just imitate female moaning noises

it’s the only way they can hear it

brititsh:

when you tell your friends a joke and no one laughs
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bubblexscum:

Actually crying.

bubblexscum:

Actually crying.

supnikita:

when you’re late to class

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